 |
Answer: There is Scripture about this, like these verses:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) Now I don’t know if you did this or not as they were growing up. I hope you did, since you have been a Christian for 21 years, and your oldest is 28. However, in case you did not train them up in the way they should go, and since they are still not saved, here are some other verses, that I believe will help.
“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.”
This verse teaches us that God wants us to go to heaven by families, which is what household means. You may say, “But they are still not saved and I don’t know what to do about it.”
If we fast and pray for their salvation, God will bring everything into their lives that will help to bring them to Himself. Yes, they have a free will (so it may take time), but when we pray, God brings things to pass that would not otherwise happen. If this is true, and it is, then there is hope for your family to all receive the Lord as you pray.
Richard W. De Haan, of the Daily Bread devotional books was confronted with questions about God answering prayer. Here are those questions:
“I know the Bible exhorts us to pray, and that Jesus and His apostles were men of prayer. But why is God so concerned about our praying? After all, He is sovereign, and He has planned everything from the beginning to the end. How can it be true, then, that prayer changes things when ‘what is to be will be’? Besides, it seems that God, infinite in love and holiness, would do what is best for us without our begging Him to do so. And, why thank and praise Him, and confess our sins? He knows the gratitude we feel in our hearts. He’s well aware of the sorrow we experience because of our sins. Why then is it so necessary to tell Him about these things and ask for our human needs?
Here is Richard W. De Haan’s reply:
“I am reminded of a story told by A. H. Strong, the well know theologian. In order to emphasize the fallacy of blind determinism, Dr. Strong related an imaginary experience of a man who lived in the horse-and-buggy days. One Sunday, having heard a sermon in church about God’s sovereign decrees, he decided to take a rough, shorter trail home instead of the lengthier, safer road. The way was filled with ruts and rocks. When a wagon wheel finally broke, he made this foolish observation, ‘I’ve been predestinated to be a fool, and I’ve just made my calling and election sure.’ This poor soul had never come to realize that his own free action had been foreseen and incorporated into God’s plan.
“In much the same way, the man who does not pray because he concludes that everything has been predetermined anyway is overlooking the fact that God’s omniscience foresaw his prayerlessness. So don’t forget; the Lord’s eternal foreknowledge took our prayers into consideration, and He has worked them into His plan and into the very fabric of the universe. That’s why, even though we acknowledge God’s sovereignty…we continue to pray.”
You might say, What does this have to do with my children’s salvation. Friend, since it is God’s will for us to go to heaven by families, even though our children have their own free will, God is weaving the answers to our prayers into the fabric of His universe, so keep praying for their salvation!
Anything that we know is God’s will, as taught in Scripture, we can pray for with confidence that He will answer these prayers. Salvation of souls is part of His perfect will, and He wants us to pray for them. Look at these other verses:
“For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Savior, who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2:3-4)
“The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9)
“Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.” (1 John 5:14,15)
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:16)
So now you know that God wants us to go to heaven by families, and He is not willing for our children to perish. Also, you know from Scripture that if something is God’s will, we can pray with confidence (boldness), knowing that He will answer these prayers for the salvation of our children!
It may take a long time, or it may happen right away, I have heard of examples of both scenarios. One person I heard of prayed for 30 years for a loved one, but the loved one received the Lord, so we cannot give up! When Jesus was speaking on prayer and about not giving up until we get the answer, here are some stories He gave to illustrate His point:
“And He said to them, ’Which of you shall have a friend, and go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me on his journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within and say, ‘Do not trouble me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot rise and give to you’?
‘I say to you, though he will not rise and give to him because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will rise and give him as many as he needs. So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” (Luke 11:5-10)
Prayer does not work like some jinnee’s bottle, where we make our three requests and they happen right away. If that were the case there would be no need for faith to continue trusting God for the answer, when it didn’t come right away. With prayer, He is also working into us His character, helping us to have compassion for people, helping us to learn patience, long suffering, etc. So we continue to pray even if He doesn’t answer right away.
Jesus gave another example of persistence in prayer for what we want:
“Then He spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart, saying: ‘There was in a certain city a judge who did not fear God nor regard man. Now there was a widow in that city; and she came to him, saying, ‘Get justice for me from my adversary.’ And he would not for a while; but afterward he said within himself, ‘Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me.’
Then the Lord said, ‘Hear what the unjust judge said. ‘And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though He bears long with them? I tell you that He will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless, when the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?” (Luke 18:1-8)
You will need to keep trusting the Lord for your children, and since you know it is His will, and as you are persistent He will answer your request, in His perfect timing. We do need to have faith though, as was pointed out by Jesus.
James, the half brother of Jesus, in his book says, “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.” (James 1:6-8)
We need to make sure we are right with the Lord ourselves and make sure our sins are confessed if we want answers to our prayers for our children’s salvation. “If I regard iniquity (unconfessed sin) in my heart, the Lord will not hear…” (Psalm 66:18) “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.” (James 5:16)
There may be some other tangible things you can do to witness to your children like find some good Christian literature that has God’s Word in it that they could relate to, and give these as presents for birthdays or Christmas. Write a letter to each one explaining what you believe and your testimony. Make sure they understand the way of salvation, if they don’t give the steps to receiving the Lord in your letter. Most of all, let them know how much you love them and are praying for them and their salvation.
Ask God to have others that are around them at work, or other Christians that know them, to witness to them. Remember, God the Holy Spirit has to do the work of wooing them to Christ. But He will do this if we are willing to keep praying for them. Yes, they do have a free will, and people can be stubborn sometimes, but God is more persistent if we are praying. He has been called the ‘hound of heaven’ in a good sense, He will keep pursuing them.
I hope this helps, if you or anyone else is interested in more on the study of prayer, you can go to our links and click on Yakima Calvary Chapel. Then when you are there, you will see the messages section. There you can click on The Model Prayer (Our Lord’s Prayer) and hear it explained, in a message I gave recently at church. There are many other great audio messages as well.
God bless you, and don’t stop praying for your children, until they are all saved!
Your brother in Christ,
Gary T. Panell
The Scripture used in this discussion is taken from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible.
For more information e-mail me at
To view other questions visit our Interactive Bible Study Page or read some of our Christian Literature at Bible-Christian.org
Keywords: saved, unsaved, nonsaved, non saved, non-saved, children, kids, child, kid, son, daughter