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Answer: Your question does not have an easy or simple solution. Your question actually covers many different issues. Understand that I am on the outside looking in, and yet in several ways I have experienced some of these same things.
It is really hard when people you love are having a hard time paying bills and just barely able to afford basic necessities. The Lord expects us to take care of those widows and orphans in need.
3 Honor widows who are really widows. 4 But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God. 5 Now she who is really a widow, and left alone, trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day. 6 But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives. 7 And these things command, that they may be blameless. 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. (I Timothy 5:3 - 8)
If the Lord has blessed you so that you can help your husband’s sister – then I believe the Lord expects you to help her. Pray and ask God to what extent He wants you to help. If you feel God, after much prayer, truly wants you to take in your husband’s sister, niece-in-law, and great niece and nephews, then you would be wise to listen to God rather than man.
Understand, this would not be an easy undertaking. If you and your husband are not both convinced completely that this is God’s will, then do not take them in. No matter how much you love them – having extra people of several generations in your home would cause a terrific strain on your marriage – unless you are both thoroughly convinced that this is what God wants you to do.
The blending of several generations and personalities in a home will not be an easy task, and there would be many tense moments.
Your husband’s sister and her daughter-in-law remind me of the story of Ruth with some obvious twists. Ruth was devoted to her mother-in-law. She would not leave her. She listened to her mother-in-law and obeyed her. Naomi was the one who was bitter and depressed. God blessed Ruth and made all she had gone through to cause her to grow into a godly woman who is in the lineage of Jesus Christ.
You cannot make a person do what you want or think is right for them to do. All you can do is let your sister-in-law, niece-in-law, and her children know what you are able and willing to do to help them. They then must make their own choices.
Do your sister-in-law and niece-in-law go to church regularly? How is their walk with the Lord? Church is one place that may be able to offer some assistance. Perhaps they could give a little money, food, a possible place to stay, or respite care for the daughter who has a disability.
Since your niece-in-law was hurt on the job, she should qualify for some type of worker’s compensation or maybe Social Security Disability. Have they checked into this? Depending on the little girl’s disability, your sister-in-law may qualify for getting paid for giving home health care. Does the little girl have a case manager from the Department of Development Disabilities (DDD)? They can also give some assistance with not just SSI, but other needs she may have.
You mention that the father lives with another woman. Does he pay child support? Has anyone gone to the state to seek this?
Another thing to consider would be if your niece-in-law is free to move from the state. Most states will not allow a custodial parent to move out of the state without the signed permission of the non-custodial parent. Also, would the older boy move with them? That would be a huge separation, depending on his age, if he does not feel welcomed in your home.
Is there any way the family could all come visit you in Texas? Perhaps they could fill out job applications and see how the Lord leads. At the same time, you would be able to see what it would be like to have so many people in the same home. Your niece-in-law would also be able to see that the teachers and medical care-givers in your state will do as much for her daughter as in the state she now lives in.
In the future, if the economy continues as it is now, we will see many more blended families. Several generations living together just to be able to make ends meet. I believe that this is just one sign that Jesus’ return is very near!!
We will continue to pray with you about the situation. God is still there, and He loves each of you. He wants what is best for each of you. You in turn must earnestly seek God’s will. Remember, He is more concerned about the condition of the heart and yet He tells us not to worry about tomorrow or what we will wear or eat.
22 Then He said to His disciples, "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. 23 Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? 25 And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? 26 If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?
29 "And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. 30 For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. 31 But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you. (Luke 12:22 - 31).
Do not be afraid to ask God for a miracle. Once you have asked, then expect God to provide a miracle!!
In Christian love,
Marlene
The Scripture used in this discussion is taken from the New King James Version of the Holy Bible.
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Keywords: help, benevolent, widow, financial help, lost job