Home  › Bible Study Discussions >

Bible Study Discussions with Gary Panell

Question: My boyfriend and I were in this relationship for almost 7 years. He too is a Christian and my first love. Our parents didn't like it initially because I was only fifteen at that time. Two years ago my parents gave us permission to go out. We've been having fights often recently. We later realized that both of us had our mistakes. I Love him dearly and he too loves me a lot. How can I be 100% sure that God wants us to be together? I just want to make sure that this is God's will or else this relationship will be nothing. How can I be 100% sure that he's the one for me according to God's will? Please pray for me.

Answer: Unfortunately, there are no guarantees that you will choose the person God has chosen for you, or that you will live “happily ever after!”

God has given humans a free will and the ability to make choices—whether good or bad. When we stay close to God, attend church, read God's Word regularly and try to follow what God's Word says—then we will make choices that are according to God's will.

When a person starts making choices before first seeking God's will in prayer, Bible reading, and counseling from older Christians—then the choices can be wrong or not God's perfect choice for them. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6: 33) “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3: 5, 6)

Marriage, or who you should marry, should not be based on some warm, fuzzy feeling that you get when they're around. 1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is something more than just a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Love is something that causes you to give up your own desires and ambitions in order to put the other person first—to do what is best for the other person.

One thing I've also told people to do is to look at how the person treats other people. Are they kind and respectful to their mother and sisters—those who are closest to them? If they are disrespectful, sarcastic, or mean to others—they will be the same to their spouse once the “glow” of first love has gone.

Many people have ignored the word “commitment” when it comes to marriage. People today think that they can enter marriage and then get a divorce” if it doesn't work out. That is not commitment!!

The marriage vows talk about commitment (at least the Christian weddings we have been at). They're not just some poetic words that sound nice at a wedding.

In sickness and health—For richer or poorer. When one of you is sick—will the commitment still be there? If you don't know how the rent will be paid or where the next meal will come from—will the commitment still be there? If someone better looking, slimmer, or with a more pleasing personality comes along—will the commitment still be there?

A Christian marriage is a triangle. The husband and wife are the corners and the base, and God is the top corner. As you and your spouse read God's Word and get close to Him, you also draw closer to each other.

If a man and woman seek God in their relationship with each other, then God will show you if this is the person you can make a real commitment to.

There will be problems in a marriage. You have 2 people who have been raised in families who do things differently. Those differences will need to be worked out, which will result in some arguments. If the commitment to each other and the relationship is there on both sides—then those arguments will bring you close to each other and changes will be made in each of your perceptions on how a family works so that you are now forming your own family.

God does have a perfect plan for your life—including a spouse. It is up to you to stay close to God and make right choices for your life. “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.

“My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written,

“The days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!” (Psalm 139: 14-17)

Marlene

For more information e-mail me at

Please feel free to contact Bible Christian:

Gary Tomás Panell
1211 Pollock Avenue
Zillah, Washington  98953
Email

© 2005-2009 by Gary T. Panell

The articles on this website may be freely copied and distributed. Source credit with a link to bible-christian.org would be appreciated.

Keywords: marriage, God's plan, God's perfect will, following God